Archive for October, 2011

Day 2

On to day 2 without porn. I’ve worked all day and didn’t really think about sex at all. As I won’t see my girlfriend later today, there’s little chance of having sex and I don’t plan on masturbating.

Interesting fact though: When I came home earlier, sitting down on the computer caused me to immediately think about masturbating to porn. There was a little voice in my head telling me “just check out what there is, you don’t have to masturbate, just look what’s new…” but I told it to shut up and decided to write a post instead. Feels good to not give in. Go away, porn!

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Day 1 of The End Of Porn

Dear readers,
this blog is dedicated to porn induced erectile dysfunction, and finally quitting porn altogether to achieve a regular sexual life and normal sexual responses. I’m a healthy male in my late twenties and I’ve masturbated to internet porn ever since I was 13. That’s about 15 years of straight porn, pretty much every day. When I was younger, definitely more than once a day. Real sex has never really excited me – I remember my first time being almost boring. I expected it to be mind-blowing, but it wasn’t at all! Internet porn was better. Less work, so much to choose from, easy access.

Over the years I’ve had many girlfriends, but sex has never been a strength of mine. I wouldn’t be able to get it up or keep it up 2 out of 3 times, and if anything at all interrupted the mood (as simple as changing positions, or maybe a cell phone ringing) my erection would be gone and we’d have to restart. It made real sex almost a turnoff to me as there was so much work, worrying about the erection etc. involved. With some girlfriends I almost thought of it as a chore that I tried to avoid. Internet porn was all I needed. Needless to say, multiple relationships got destroyed over my inability to want sex. It made the women feel unattractive and caused much grief. I wish I had known then how bad porn is.

The worst part is that I often have to use fantasy to get or stay aroused. I’ll keep my eyes closed, imagining some porn scene, while having intercourse. It’s sickening! I’m in bed with a hot naked woman who is trying to give me the best ride of my life and yet I have to fantasize to get some measly semi-hard erection. This has to stop.

I want to:

  1. Get visibly aroused when I see or even think of a naked woman.
  2. Stay rock hard throughout intercourse. No more of those 70% erections that I need to ‘stuff’ into the vagina and hope to get harder once I’m in there.
  3. Ejaculate in under 10 minutes. I don’t want to have to concentrate on anything except the feeling in my penis and the hot girl I’m with to get over the edge.

I really, really hope that I can reach these goals. I’ve stopped looking at porn intermittently over the last 4 weeks or so but always gone back to it after a few days. I hope I can stay strong this time. When I stopped looking at porn for a few days, sex with my girlfriend was already better but I’m still relying on fantasy. From what I read on the internet, 90+ days of porn abstinence I usually required for a “reboot” to get rid of what porn does to our brains – rewiring pleasure and reward centers to prefer porn over real women. Let’s see how long it takes. I will have fairly regular sex while I stop porn and I’ll report progress.