Day 4

So, not much progress yesterday and today, except for one major negative experience. I tried having sex with my girlfriend this morning and failed miserably… my erection wouldn’t stay hard, and it was just overall bad sex. In the middle I had to fantasize about porn just to stay semi-erect. She was visibly upset with my “performance” which made things even worse… I wish I hadn’t gone for sex at all. I’m in a tough spot because she doesn’t know about my trying to abstain from porn and healing my sex drive. I also don’t want to hurt her by making her think that she’s not attractive to me. Well, let’s see when I’ll try the next encounter. Haven’t done any porn or masturbation.

Stats since Start:

  • Porn Use: 0
  • Masturbation: 0
  • Good Intercourse: 0
  • Bad Intercourse (need for fantasy, erection issues etc.): 1

As you can see, I’ve divided intercourse up into two sections – good and bad. Good intercourse is what I’ll hopefully achieve in the coming weeks and months, meaning intercourse where I don’t need any fantasy, I don’t have erection problems, and so on. On the other hand, intercourse that happens along the way and isn’t quite working yet, like the one this morning, is counted as bad intercourse. Can’t wait to have my first good intercourse!

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