Day 33

I was kind of expecting to see new comments saying “what the hell did you do” but I didn’t receive any, which was a relief!

In fact, I can report some positive things. I had sex twice, once yesterday and once this morning, and both times were on ‘mediocre’ level (which is better than ‘bad’). I kept my erection virtually through the entire act, it’s almost as if my PMO mishap didn’t really stop my progress, which is great! I have to say that on top of everything I had serious performance anxiety because of the PMO (thinking it’ll ruin the sex) but my penis was fairly unfazed and performed well. The only thing that’s definitely still there is that I use fantasy to get over the edge instead of the feeling in my penis. Well, one step at a time. At least I’m relieved that one misstep into the porn world doesn’t mean the end of recovery… so far, it hasn’t even brought on anything negative. I did learn my lesson though, it’s still a slippery slope, so I’ll keep my hands out of my pants and my thoughts out of the gutter. I promise to be successful.

    • anonymous
    • December 2nd, 2011

    It is good that things are improving. Just as when your Dr gives you medication he or she will tell you to take the full prescription, make sure that you see it through. I’m no expert but most people say it takes about 2-3 months of minimal masturbation and no porn before you start to be able to make lasting change.

  1. I am glad you have not given up. I have done 13 days, and its nice to hear that there is success in this journey. I would hate to have put in a world of effort to find out that it does not work.

    I have almost failed twice…and my once clear reasoning on ‘why’ has become foggy. But even though I cannot see through to the end of this fog, a head of me I see your tail lights, so the road must still be there.

  2. @anonymous: That’s the key! The slow and steady one wins the race (that’s quite literal – 90-120+ days is damn slow!). I almost believe that it is a lifestyle change. Think going to the gym and changing your diet to lose weight; it’ll only work if you really adjust your lifestyle, not if you do a short-term adjustment. It’ll be interesting to have the new “normal” be masturbating only once every other week.

    @Steve: I really appreciate the encouraging words, they make a world of difference on this side of the blog. 13 days is a fantastic start! I know exactly what you’re feeling – is this worth it, I’m giving up all the great orgasms for this apparently moving target, I’m in a bad mood etc…. It’s a test, man. You can do it. Rooting for you and everybody else who is going through this!

    • anonymous
    • December 4th, 2011

    Yes! I think this is a lifestyle change. I’ve already been enjoying having more free time!

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